Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
I have the mean reds cousin or something. Lately I've been feeling incredibly anxious. The worst bit is I've also been feeling a little out of touch. As if I don't matter that much. I suppose I'm a bit depressed. I've been trying desperately to Shake It Out.
The next major thorn in my side is the fact that I want to be a author of a young adult books series so badly it hurts. I've been rejected so many times I started to doubt myself. Recently Poets and Writers have a few contests coming up. I've decided to enter them. I'm hoping that a contest win will help restore my faith in what I've always believed to be my God given talent.
Third but not least my relationship has been confusing lately. I never thought I'd be the girl who wanted a wedding or would consider having a child. Slowly I've transformed into someone I don't recognize.
Anxiety aside ultimately I just want to be happy.
I think I'm all vented out for now